Double Shift

I had to work all day today. Luckily, it wasn’t too busy. 

During my break I went to the gas station and bought a tall boy. I figure as long as I stop drinking by about three pm, I should be able to pass a PBT at nine or ten that evening. You may be thinking, why do you feel the need to drink at all?? And I’d answer, of course I don’t need to drink, but I can and like to, so why not?

I spoke too soon about the effects of kratom in an earlier post, saying it does absolutely nothing. Part of me really believed the stuff was snake oil.  Today I mixed the rest of my stash into my drink at work. After choking down the concoction I felt a little nauseous. But after about half an hour I really felt like I had dropped a small dose of MDMA. My limbs felt very relaxed and euphoric, especially my legs (I think because I was standing all day). I felt calm and content with working. I listened to music instead of my usual M.O. of listening to podcasts. Despite this pleasant experience, I don’t think it was worth the money, considering I could have bought enough actual MDMA for that much money and felt twice as good; and I don’t think it’s worth the risk of dropping dirty as I’ve heard the house is getting the ability to test specifically for kratom any day now. Now I’m very itchy, which I believe is also a side-effect.

Beer, Kratom, And Tattoos

If you’ve ever watched the Louis CK bit about day-drinking, well today has reminded me of that bit. He says something like, “You ever watch a movie and there’s a couple of business guys in an office closing a deal over a glass of whiskey? How are those guys, like five minutes later, not just like, ‘uhhh fuuuck, I can’t believe I drank whiskey at three o’clock in the afternoon”, or something like that. Well today I gave in once again and bought a couple of beers this morning. It felt great for like half an hour, but the rest of the day has been hell on Earth. I wanted to feel better, so instead of just toughing it out, I went to the head shop and bought some kratom. What a waste of money. Not only have I just learned the transition house will be testing for kratom soon, but I felt absolutely nothing. Luckily, I didn’t take very much so I don’t think it’ll be a problem. I tried to take a nap this afternoon, but that didn’t work out very well. I fell asleep for a few minutes watching YouTube. The day did improve a little, but ultimately I’m just ready to call it a night and try again in the morning. 

I went to Lutheran schools growing up and definitely consider it important to my upbringing. I believe there is something deeper that permeates life and transcends our material, mechanical existence. I also believe the Bible is the single most important text in Western culture, and I find Christianity to be comforting, even if there is a great deal of nonsense involved with it. I’ve read all of the major books of the Bible such as the Gospel of John, Proverbs, and Psalms. Last year I started reading the King James Version, just a chapter or two at a time, and so far I’m in Leviticus. Since I’m in such a fowl mood today, I thought it’d help to read a couple chapters. Now, I don’t have any tattoos, and I don’t judge anybody with tattoos, in fact, my half-sister is apprenticing to be a tattoo artist, and I think that’s badass. I always knew that die-hard Christians tended to either be totally against tattoos, or there’s always that one girl who’s into death metal and covered in tattoos and who also claims to be a Christian. I always knew, like a lot of things, there was some religious commentary on the notion of tattoos. I’ve heard more than a few times the line, “your body is a temple”, and such. But I had no idea there was a verse in the Bible that specifically addresses tattoos (or at least something similar). In Leviticus 19:28 it says, “Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.” I suppose I’ve sinned as I actually burned a triangle into my left wrist in high school. Now I wonder how common, if at all, it was to get tattoos in Israel many thousands of years ago. I’m not curious enough to actually look it up though. It’s time for bed.