Obsolescence Anxiety

I own the last MacBook Pro to have been made without a retina screen. When I was making this blog I had to decide whether I’d put full-size photos on this website. My first instinct was to not. To be honest, I was thinking about money when I first started thinking about doing a photography project. This was not even close to being my main motivation, but I did want control over my photographs so that if someday people wanted to use them or otherwise possess them, that they’d have to ask me to sell them full-size images. Not currently owning a high density display (other than my phone) I didn’t research thoroughly enough how small a 1080 x 720 pixel image would look on a large high-definition display. Tiny, as it turns out. Will I ever really have a real demand for these photographs? And, if I do, wouldn’t I want as many people to have my work as possible? Along with screen densities and permissions, the third problem with image resolution is storage. A free WordPress account allows the storage of up to three gigabytes. With an average size of three megabytes each, that’s about a thousand photos. If I shoot a roll of film every week for a year, that’ll put me at 1,872 photos or five and a half gigabytes. So at the very least I have to purchase a basic WordPress account to allow me six gigabytes. Which I have but after this, if I want to continue shooting a roll a week, I’ll have to upgrade to the premium account. These accounts are affordable, but paying to share my photographs on a website managed by another website, another website that is starting to feel more and more to me like a social media website bothers me. Do I really want to invest in this site to keep a snapshot of my life? First of all, one thing I’ve noticed about social media sites is that they tend to develop their own cultures, both from apparently intentional factors like Facebook’s newsfeed algorithms to apparently unintentional factors like simple graphical design decisions like Reddit’s “cuteness”. Ideally I want a website that is created and controlled almost entirely by me. I do have a fundamental understanding of HTML and CSS and theoretically could make my own site. Then there’s the problem of obsolescence. How long will WordPress exist? I understand this is a well-established company. But it’s possible that there will be a time when there is a radical shift in how the internet operates. It’s also possible WordPress gets into some kind of business ordeal that radically alters the way this site works. There’s also of course simply the possibility that WordPress simply fails at being a financially viable company. What happens to all of my thoughts and photos then? So what really clinched this whole dilemma for me is the possibility of migrating this site to another, more independent, host. Right now, I generally like my experience on WordPress and want to start interacting with more people’s sites. Today, I took an hour and a half break from work and updated all of the photos to full-size, so it should look good on any screen. And if anybody wants to download my photos, go for it, put them on billboards, office walls, textbooks— I’d be flattered.

I’m starting to get a little anxious at work. This is the longest I’ve held down a job for years. Every time a manager wants to say something to me, I half expect them to tell me I’m fired. It’s really unhealthy, mentally, to live in fear for one’s job. I feel like I need constant reassurance. But I think that slight fear is just part of the nature of being an employee in a ruthlessly capitalistic society. The only way to get rid of it is to stop caring about one’s job, which inevitably gets one fired.